Another year is upon us and that means another round of resolutions are made. I read somewhere that only 8% of New Year Resolutions are successful. That’s not a great statistic but it might not be the worst thing in the world. Think of the stress relief when you no longer have to succeed at a resolution. Take my resolution to write a post every day in 2014. Already broken. Boom. I now have 362 stress-free days.

There are, however, some really wonderful resolutions for the new year.  Here are some I found.

Mashable has an article 7 New Year’s Resolutions That Take 5 Seconds Each. I particularly like:

• Keep in Touch With Your Parents. I have one left so I plan on keeping in touch with my mom as much as possible. She now has an iPhone so it’s easy to text when we can’t talk.
• Learn Something New Every Day. The coldest temperature ever recorded is -135.8F. FYI: a witch’s tit is warmer.
• Help Someone Achieve Their Dreams. Crowdfunding sites, like Kickstarter and Indiegogo are hot. My friend Jane Lui did a Kickstarter campaign so she could record a kick-ass version of Waterfall. She met her goal in about an hour. Awesome.

The Daily Beast has 15 Achievable New Year’s Resolutions. I fancy:

• If you want to quit smoking: This year, no smoking and pooping at the same time!
• If you want to eat better food: no meals from gas stations.
• If you are someone who struggles,who messes up, who dwells on past mistakes, who tries to do right, who imagines they are a sham, and not the person they can and should be: Yes, me too, and every single other human being in the world. This year, just try to be 4 percent nicer and carry around antibacterial gel.

And here’s the video my friend Jane made.