I’m a big advocate for mental health, as I am a veritable Vegas buffet of mental illness (depression, anxiety, OCD, and BiPolar 2). For the longest time I kept it a secret. I was afraid of the stigma that comes with mental illness. I didn’t want people to shun me, or tell me to just be happy, or tell me it’s all in my mind. Telling someone who has mental illness to just cheer up is like telling someone with cancer to just get over it. Or telling Nicolas Cage to just act better. These are all things that are impossible to do.

But when Robin Williams took his own life I decided to speak up. Just a few years ago I tried to kill myself. For months that I was all I could think about. I wanted to escape from it all, escape from the voice in my head. It was a terrible terrible no good time. Obviously I was not successful in my attempt. Thank goodness.

Since then I have gone on medication for the BiPolar 2. That seemed to be the main culprit in my mental illness stew. Things are much better now. I’m not completely cured. No one ever is. There are some days that are worse than others. Some hours worse than others. And I’m also much better at recognizing when I’m getting an attack or things are out of whack. The OCD is still a major struggle but I’m working on it. Right after I wash my hands again.

But all in all I feel much better.

I wrote a post about my struggle with mental illness and I received more comments and private messages from people telling me either they also suffer from it or knew people who suffer from it. I got a message from a woman in Germany who told me she was thankful she wasn’t alone in her struggle.

1 in 5 adults in the United States experiences. So if you’re one of four people reading this you’re in the clear. I’m the one.

One of the biggest challenges with mental illness is the stigma surrounding it. Mental Health Month is a great time to take a moment and realize that people who suffer from mental illness haven’t made a choice to suffer from it. There’s nothing weird or “crazy” about anyone who suffers from it. It’s a disease. 6o million people in the U.S. suffer from mental illness and more than 350 people worldwide suffer from it.

So please take a moment this month to remind yourself to be stigma free about mental health. The National Alliance on  Mental Illness is a great place to learn about it all.

If you or anybody you know is struggling with depression to the point of wanting to end it all, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is open 24/7 on 1-800-273-8255.

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September is Suicide Prevention Month. Maybe they choose September because summer has ended and that’s always depressing. Who knows?

National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month promotes resources and awareness around the issues of suicide prevention.

NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness has a ton of information and resources.

Here are a few choice items. Please visit their site and learn more about suicide and how to help those in need. Wanting and trying to take your life is no fun. Succeeding is terrible.

Know the Warning Signs

• Threats or comments about killing themselves, also known as suicidal ideation, can begin with seemingly harmless thoughts like “I wish I wasn’t here” but can become more overt and dangerous
• Increased alcohol and drug use
• Aggressive behavior
• Social withdrawal from friends, family and the community
• Dramatic mood swing
• Talking, writing or thinking about death
• Impulsive or reckless behavior

Being Prepared for a Crisis

My loved ones were at a loss as to how to help me and it was very frustrating for them. Here’s a great action plan.

• Phone numbers for your loved one’s therapist, psychiatrist and other healthcare providers
• Family members and friends who would be helpful, and local crisis line number
• Phone numbers of family members or friends who would be helpful in a crisis
• Local crisis line number (you can usually find this by contacting your NAMI Affiliate, or by doing an internet search for “mental health crisis services” and the name of your county)
• Addresses of walk-in crisis centers or emergency rooms
• The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
• Your address and phone number(s)
• Your loved one’s diagnosis and medications
• Previous psychosis or suicide attempts
• History of drug use
• Triggers
• Things that have helped in the past
• Mobile Crisis Unit phone number in the area (if there is one)
• Determine if police officers in the community have Crisis Intervention Training (CIT)

Keep copies in several places. Store a copy in a drawer in your kitchen, your glove compartment, on your smartphone, your bedside table, or in your wallet. Also, keep a copy in a room in your home that has a lock and a phone.

Stigma Free Pledge

Take the Stigma Free Pledge. There’s an awful stigma associated with mental illness and for awhile I didn’t want to tell anyone I suffer from it. But after Robin Williams’ death, I decided I wasn’t going to hide it any more. Taking the pledge and then doing something to help raise awareness will be incredibly helpful to those of us who suffer from mental illness.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

If you or someone you know is in an emergency, call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or call 911 immediately.

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I while ago I decided to take the bag off my battle with depression. It was a secret I no longer wanted to keep. I’ve battled depression, anxiety, OCD, and BiPolar 2 my whole life. I didn’t tell anyone mostly out of shame. Mental illness didn’t seem like a “real” disease. In the past I hinted at suffering from it but was usually met with “heart in the right place but not at all helpful” sayings like “just cheer up” or “everybody has a bad day” or “think of all the people who have it worse” or “I know how you feel, I was depressed once” or “why are you so sensitive?” Well, you get the idea.

But depression is a real disease. It’s a quiet and nasty disease. Those of us who suffer from it don’t want it, don’t like it, aren’t looking for attention and can’t just cheer up.

When I first posted about my battle with depression and reaching the low point in my life when I tried to kill myself, I was shocked at how many messages I received from people who also battle depression. It was astounding and eye-opening. I think more people suffer from depression than anyone cares to admit. People thanked me for writing that post and were relieved to know they weren’t alone and could confide in someone.

Colleen Butters and Depression is Quiet

I first came upon the Depression is Quite comic on the Beyond Blue Facebook page. An extremely quick look at some of the comments gives you an idea of what it’s like to suffer from depression.

“So tired of being told get over it, be a real man.”

“What do you do when you are mid 50,s and just tied of fighting every bloody day?”

“You feel worthless, unwanted, and not wanting to wake up each day.”

“There are days where I wish i didn’t wake up. I am tired of feeling like this. Will it ever end?

And those are basically the first four comments.

From the Beyond Blue page I was able to find the woman who drew the comic. Her name is Colleen Butters (How much do I love her name?) and she has a wonderful tumblr site.

What really struck me was the “Notes” part of this comic. The Notes show who liked it, who shared it, etc. Colleen has a lot of wonderful comics which have gotten many likes and shares. A quick glance of her site shows posts getting likes and shares in the 300-500 range. Her comic Depression is Quiet has 617,519 likes and shares.

617,519.

Here’s a bit of what Colleen says on her site.

“You would be surprised with how many people in your life could be going through depression at this very moment. People hide it like a paper bag over their heads out of fear of being judged, made fun of, seen as weak, or just not taken seriously. Depression should not be taken lightly, it holds us down from our purpose and potential in life. Those who tell you that it doesn’t exist have never experienced depression in their life, therefore not understanding the symptoms and how it’s something that cannot be fixed in a day! Your feelings are real, your feelings are shared upon millions. Don’t hide it, talk to someone about it. With the right help, you can rediscover your confidence and begin life anew with our undying love and support!”

Colleen, thanks so much for this beautiful comic.

Depression is Quiet

Symptoms and Help

Here are symptoms of depression:

• Persistent sad or “empty” mood.
• Feeling hopeless, helpless, worthless, pessimistic and/or guilty.
• Substance abuse.
• Fatigue or loss of interest in ordinary activities, including sex.
• Disturbances in eating and sleeping patterns.
• Irritability, increased crying, anxiety or panic attacks.
• Difficulty concentrating, remembering or making decisions.
• Thoughts of suicide; suicide plans or attempts.
• Persistent physical symptoms or pains that do not respond to treatment.

Don’t be ashamed of getting help.

If you or anybody you know is struggling with depression and you fear it could be life-threatening, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline here in the U.S. is open 24/7 on 1-800-273-8255.

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Today is National Depression Screening Day. I know. And you thought it was just Leif Erikson Day. Oh hvor feil du er, min venn.

National Depression Screening Day was started in 1991 to help people learn more about depression and provide screening and treatment referrals for anyone concerned about it.

It’s a terrible disease fraught with stigma and shame but hopefully that is changing. Depression is more widespread than people know. It is more common than AIDS, cancer, and diabetes combined and globally more than 350 million suffer from depression.

A good friend of mine lost her best friend this year to depression. It was a terrible loss and from the outside it looked like nothing was wrong with her. But the depression won and she took her life. Just over a year ago I tried to kill myself as well. I suppose from the outside I looked fine as well. Not handsome, but certainly not suffering from a mental illness. Inside, however, it was a different story. When the disease was at its worse my mind was a terrible place to be.

I found this stock image on US News and World Report. It’s gloriously cheesy.

There Is Help

I suffer from depressive disorder, anxiety disorder. Obsessive Compulsive disorder and BiPolar 2. It was the BiPolar 2 diagnosis that saved my life. For decades I was being treated for depression and anxiety but when I was finally put on treatment for BiPolar 2 everything changed. It’s still a day to day affair but I’m doing much much better. And it truly was the discovery of the BiPolar 2 that made all the difference.

So I encourage you to to visit Help Yourself Help Others to find a a screening site. Sad to say there are few places to go for a screening. Here in California I think there are only 7 places to get screened. But you can take an online screening at Help Yourself Help Others.

If you suspect that you may suffer from depression, or a family member or a friend, I urge you to get a screening today. There’s no shame. No stigma. Only good health.

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Benedict Cumberbatch Ice Bucket Challenge

First up: Benedict Cumberbatch takes the Ice Bucket Challenge. He gets it not once, not twice, but five times.

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Depression. The name describes it. Sort of like “what’s the color of an orange?” But I’ve had a lot of friends tell me they can’t imagine what having depression is like. That’s why I think we should rename the disease Dementors Depression.

Foulest Creatures That Walk This Earth

Dementors are those those crazy ass creatures in Harry Potter. You know, the ones who suck the happiness out of you.

“Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them… Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself… soulless and evil. You will be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life.” ~ Remus Lupin

That’s what depression feels like. That’s exactly what it feels like. You’ll never be happy again. You’ll never feel passion again. You’ll never want to go outside again. You’ll never laugh again. You’ll never want to be with your friends again. You’ll never have a good thought again. You’ll never like yourself again. You’ll never have hope again. You’ll never want to be alive again.

J.K. Rowling’s Depression

It’s no accident that dementors are the perfect example of depression personified. J.K. Rowling suffered from depression for years. In fact, her depression inspired her to create the dementors.

“Yes. That is exactly what they are. It was entirely conscious. And entirely from my own experience. Depression is the most unpleasant thing I have ever experienced. It is that absence of being able to envisage that you will ever be cheerful again. The absence of hope. That very deadened feeling, which is so very different from feeling sad. Sad hurts but it’s a healthy feeling. It’s a necessary thing to feel. Depression is very different.”
“I think

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Yesterday I posted about my lifelong struggle with depression, anxiety and my Bipolar Express. Wait. Make that the Bipolar II Express. The reaction to that post was overwhelming. I had more hits on my website than I’ve ever had. Here’s what I learned:

Depressive Disorders Affect Nearly Everyone

The number of people who said they struggle with depression, anxiety or Bipolar or struggle with family members or friends afflicted with a depressive illness was staggering. I had friends email me privately to tell me about their illnesses and failed suicide attempts. Some wrote about friends who sadly didn’t fail.

When you look at the facts, however, this should come as no surprise. The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates 350 million people globally suffer from depression, and the number is growing.

The WHO projects depression will be the No. 1 global disease burden by 2030, surpassing heart disease and cancer. It is anticipated that it will be No. 2 by 2020.

And here’s what I love: the report says most developing countries spend less than 2% of their national budgets on mental healthcare.

What the hell!?

We need to stop being afraid to talk about depressive illness and face it head on. And it’s already begun. Celebrities are already talking about their struggles. The more we can get it into the spotlight the better.

There Is Help

Okay, I didn’t really learn this yesterday but it bears repeating: There is help!

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is open 24/7 on 1-800-273-8255. If you need it, call. Yesterday alone saw a spike in calls to the NJ Hopeline. That number is 855-654-6735.

There are groups like Mental Health America and the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance that can help.

Try to get out and exercise. If you can’t bring yourself to do that, try to get out in the sunshine. Studies show that just being in the sunlight can help.

There are also some great books. One of my favorites is “Shoot the Damn Dog: A Memoir of Depression.” By page 2 I felt such relief because I discovered I wasn’t alone and there were other people in the world going through the same thing. Buy it here.

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